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With the larger economy being what it is and the personal economy of this stay-at-home Mommy being what it is, I am always on the look out for free things to do. Especially during the summer. I don’t know why because Tater Tot is only 2 1/2 but it just feels like summer should be packed with fun stuff to do! I understand why the Mommies with kiddos that are school aged pack their summer days with fun stuff but I’m still not sure why I feel the need. Oh well. I digress.

Friday night I decided that I wanted to go to the Concert in the Park series that my city puts on. I guess I had thought about it before, I’m not really sure. But there it was, looming large like a pimple on the end of your nose on prom night, the desire to go out into a throng of other families and listen to Afro-Cuban jazz and dance with my tiny tot. The Daddy did not want to go. Tater Tot decided that it might be fun so we headed out on our own while Daddy enjoyed some “Daddy time”. We left in time to get to the park on time, not realizing that this was a big deal. I mean, I guess I thought some people might show up but Good Lord! The entire baseball outfield was packed with families and their blankets, coolers, tables, chairs, picnic baskets, bikes, wagons, balls and toys. Some of the set-ups were pretty darned impressive! People made elaborate meals and ate them with wine while relaxing in reclining lawn chairs. Others carted their pizza boxes and coolers of beer and ate them while throwing a football. It was clear that people put much more thought into their outing than I had. We were armed with Dora and Boots dolls, flip flops, and my keys. Which ended up being okay since Tater Tot wanted to stand right by the stage and stare at the lights anyway.

We had a fantastic time! I think it helped that I did not have an agenda. Most things go more smoothly when you drop your expectations and just go with the flow, I’m finding. Life just ends up being more enjoyable. So that’s what we did. We bopped and grooved for a bit, walked around the baseball field for a bit, and just took in the sights. When a song ended, I could count on hearing a forceful “Do n’ again!” from The Tater Tot that got a little lost in the cacophony of sounds surrounding us. But still she yelled it, expecting that the band would listen to her and continue. And for a while, they did.

If you have such a program in your city, I would highly recommend it. It struck me that the picture I saw was exactly what summer should be all about: families, friends and relaxation. We will be doing it again this week. And, this time we’re bringing dinner and some friends…

One day after a particularly stinky Tater Tot “toot”, I said something to the effect of “We’d better run away from the stink.” Thus was born the grossest thing my little sweet baby has ever said. “Stay in the stink!” she shouts. “Want to stay in the stink!” Now every time I comment on her stinky toots I get to hear my precious angel yell “Stay in the stink!” That’s my girl… :*

Let me start by saying that I think that Tater Tot has a full grasp of how to drink out of a “reg’lar cup” as we call them around here. I really think she does. That being said, she has managed to spill some sort of liquid from said cups just about every meal for months. Juice, milk, water, it doesn’t matter. It’s usually when I have finished my meal and have gotten up to clean dishes or tidy the kitchen. She is right there. I am right there. There is no more than 15 feet between us and yet she feels the need to get my attention by playing with her cup and spilling stuff all over the place. Sticks her hands in them, makes “cup houses”, bangs them on the table while full of liquid, puts her utensils in them. Whatever it takes to make the spill happen, really. She’s willing to go the distance.

I don’t know if this is the way most mommies feel about it but it’s just plain irritating to me. I try to modulate my reaction so that I don’t make it a big deal. It’s only water/milk/juice anyway. And there is a good chance that she’s doing it on purpose to get my reaction so I bite my tongue, slap a happy face on it and sweetly say “Oops! Let’s clean it up now.” If I could sit still to save my life I might try staying at the table with her until she’s done with her meal to test my theory that she’s trying to get my attention. I’m not sure that’s possible, though, seeing as she takes 40 minutes to eat and I tend to pop up like a gopher out of its hole after 2 minutes of sitting still (what’s that about??). Of course she’s not “on task” that whole time. She takes breaks to wave her utensils around and play with her food but, still. Hey! Smart Mommy here just had an idea: I wonder if she’d stay on task and eat faster if I stayed at the table. It’s worth a try, anyway. What do I have to lose?

Up next: pick your battles.

Okay, maybe I’m being a little picky here but on what planet is it okay to let your child loose at a free kids’ event, chat away with another Mommy gripping your Starbuck’s for dear life while ignoring your child’s bad behavior with other kids? Uh, not on my planet. Princess Tater Tot and I went to one such event this week where the main activity was building your own train track with all the cool configurations the local toy store had. They dumped buckets full of tracks onto a carpet in the middle of the floor and let ‘em have at it. In theory, I guess this could work except that kids are kids. There were three parents in the middle with the kids, yours truly among them, and about 25 kids. Needless to say there were multiple meltdowns and more than one parent frantically negotiating with a kid they had never met before to keep two kids from coming to 2-5 year old blows.

All in all it went pretty well, considering. But one child in particular was so clearly sans parent that it really began to bug me. That was probably due to the fact that he almost took Tater Tot’s hand off trying to snatch a bridge away from her on which she was happily rolling her borrowed Thomas. “That’s my bridge!” he shrieks. “Oh, is it okay if she plays with her train on it? I see you built a really great track here. Can you share it?” I begin negotiations with. “NO! I BUILT THIS TRACK!” Okay, I guess that would be a the end of negotiations. I understand that kids are kids and most of them don’t naturally want to share but this would have been the point at which I, as a parent, would have stepped in and said kindly that he needed to share or tried some other negotiating tactic that allowed him to keep his dignity and pride at having built such an awesome track but did not frighten the young children around him. At another point soon afterward, he snatched a train out of Tater Tot’s hand. That’s where I got more firm and stated in no uncertain terms that you do not take toys from other girls and boys. You ask first. I took the train back from him and gave it back to Tater Tot even though she had easily moved onto something else. So instead he tried to snatch yet another train from some other kid even though he already had one train. Luckily another adult stepped in and handled that one with equal firmness. Where is this kid’s parent again?

I don’t think there are any bad kids. I really don’t. And I don’t think that the parents of misbehaving kids are necessarily bad parents. Kids misbehave. They are learning how to behave with other people. That’s part of their job. But it is the job of the parents to teach them good behavior and this kid’s parent was just falling down on the job. Nobody even looked interested in what this kid was doing. I just can’t imagine…

Okay, I’ll get off my soap box now.

The last I blogged, we were headed to Legoland with the cousins for, hopefully, a repeat performance of the Sea World trip. Few tantrums and a whole lotta fun without a whole lotta napping. Thankfully, that was a reality. Legoland went off without a hitch and the kids had a great time! I did forget the stroller so I got a little bit of a workout carrying The Tot when we needed to speed things up or when she got a bit tired. But it was worth it! The cousins enjoyed “Baby” Tater Tot and The Tot enjoyed her cousins. As much as a two year old can enjoy other kids. They’re pretty much consumed by their own existence but she did seem to enjoy interacting with them. And they were very good with her. And she hung in there until 4:00 without a nap. Didn’t wake up when I transferred her from the car seat in the cousin’s minivan to our car and she slept a few more minutes on the ride back to our house. She was up and ready to go when the cousins came over for pizza that night. It did take us a few days to get back to normal, however. Okay, it took her a few days. It took me four days to recover. Yes, four days to recover from 2 amusement parks in 2 days with a 2 year old. The hazards of being a mommy “of advanced maternal age” as they say in the obstetric world. Although, I have to say, it was not hard to keep up with a 2 year old, a 5 year old and an 8 year old at the time. It’s just afterwards that I was destroyed.

Speaking of advanced maternal age, I am turning 40 in September. Ack! I don’t yet know how I feel about that. I think I’m okay with it but we’ll see as we get closer to the day. Like I have a choice! I’m going to turn 40 like it or not so I guess I’d better just embrace it and look on the bright side, huh?

I did end up totaling my grocery receipts during Tater Tot’s nap time after the last time I blogged and it’s still unclear whether or not this community farming deal will pan out. We have had to tighten the belt yet another notch since insurance did not cover our unexpected, unwanted bathroom remodel. Unfortunately, our mortgage takes up most of our income and there just isn’t any left over for organic produce or much of anything else. At this point, I think I’m going to have to focus on getting hormone and antibiotic free meats since that seems to be the most dangerous and just get everything else as cheaply as possible. Add to that the price of gas ($4.49 last I checked!!!), and we’re a little strapped. If anybody else out there is cutting back, I’d love for you to share how you’re doing it! I’m always looking for creative ways to save a buck…

So I guess I’ve been neglecting my blog a bit. And, unfortunately, that means I’ve been neglecting the documentation of Princess Tater Tot’s childhood as well since this is my “journal”. Suffice it to say that we have had a lot going on since The Tot has become a hustling, bustling two year old. We’ve got amusement park passes to use, play dates and Mommy and Me. Errands to run and fun things to do. The result of all this hustling and bustling is that The Mommy is tired!

I also had been having some health problems including extreme fatigue that I felt were Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis related and have been having a hard time getting addressed. My insurance denied a referral to an endocrinologist (what the heck??) but my primary care physician did boost my thyroid meds, which is nice. It hasn’t taken care of all of the symptoms but it has made things “better enough” that I have the energy (almost) to get through a typical day with my two year old whirling dirvish. And another upside is that I have been able to lose 11.5 pounds watching my diet and exercising moderately! I am now below my pre-pregnancy weight (although nowhere near my pre-pregnancy fitness level!) and my clothes fit again! I am very, very happy with this since in the past it has been difficult for me to lose weight.

But enough about me and back to The Tot. Yesterday we went to Sea World with my sister and her family who are in town from Washington State this week and we had a blast! I expected that The Tot would crank out at about 12:30 but she hung in there without a nap until 3:30! Imagine that! A short nap on the way home and a regular bed time. Who knew? Of course we bought the Fun Card which gets us in for free for the rest of 2008 because, why not? If I was going to pay the regular price of admission anyway so Tater Tot could spend some time with her cousins, I might as well get the Fun Card. Of course we still have to pay $10 for parking each time and gas is through-the-roof expensive but I think we’ll at least swing a couple more visits before the year is over. It was pretty interesting to see her reactions to things. In the penguin exhibit, she was more interested in the escalator-like people-mover thingie than the penguins. While watching the dolphins, she was whining about wanting to “go in the blue hingie” (swim with the dolphins in the blue tank). But she had the best time at the new Sesame Street area in the water park before we went home. She would have stayed there for the rest of the day if I would have let her. Today we’re going to hit Legoland with The Cousins and hopefully it’ll go just about the same as yesterday. This is the first time Tater Tot has met her cousins and it’s really cute to see the kids interact. I’m happy they’re getting a chance to hang out.

On a totally different note, I’ve started checking out community supported agricultural programs in an effort to feed my family organically in a more cost-effective way. I have yet to figure out if it’s more cost-effective but that’s my next project. I’ve been keeping pretty strict track of my grocery spending the past couple of months but now it’s time to break it down a bit and see what I’ve been spending on produce. I’m hoping that it really IS more cost-effective because I had all but given up on organics on my current grocery budget. I just rinse and scrub my produce to within an inch of it’s life currently but I’m still not sure that produces the desired effect of eradication of the pesticides. So, if you wonder what I’ll be doing tomorrow during the Tater Tot’s nap time (like you’ve got nothing better to do with your time), I will be poring over grocery receipts for the month of May and calculating what I spend on produce each month. Exciting stuff, huh? Yeah, that’s Mommyhood in this Mommy Hood.

Peace, Out.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you Mommies out there! I have thoroughly enjoyed my day. We took a little trip to the beach this morning where I contemplated surfing but it was super-duper small and it was posted unhealthful due to bacteria levels. So I decided to go for a walk/jog by myself instead while The Daddy and Tater Tot played on the beach. Then The Daddy decided he wanted to go out into the unhealthful, small surf so Tater Tot and I played on the beach for a while. The Daddy made breakfast and even gave The Tot a bath once we got home from the beach! Then I got to go shopping by myself without worrying about entertaining The Tot or running after her or having to get home by a certain time to do anything. What a gift! For once I was able to try bras on without Tater Tot proclaiming loudly “Mommy’s got a bra-ha-ha on!”. It was nice. Then we ordered take-out from my favorite place and it was yummy!

There have been several things going on since I last blogged on a regular basis so let me update you. It’s not all that earth-shattering but I figured why not let you know? For one, I have lost 9 pounds. That’s after I gained 5 over the holidays and had not been able to get them off regardless of my proclamations that I would be steadfast in my New Year’s Resolutions. The resolutions did NOT stick. But around the beginning of April I found www.my-calorie-counter.com and started tracking my calories. I HATE, HATE, HATE counting calories but, guess what? It’s working. So I have been pretty focused on nutrition and exercise for the past month and it has worked. I feel more comfortable in my own skin. I still have 5 pounds to go but my clothes fit right again and I feel like I’m at least back to Normal Mommy instead of Schlubby Mommy Whose Pants Are Too Tight. In fact, I am a few pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight and able to wear clothes that I haven’t been able to wear in a couple of years! It feels good.

The most major Tot-related thing that has been going on is just Two-Ness. The Tot saying “No” to most everything I say, taking foooorrrreeeeevvvvveeeer to do most things that could take two seconds (can you tell that’s a peeve of mine?), dissolving into a puddle of tears and tantrums at the slightest provocation, and generally just exercising her right to change her mind every 5 seconds. Discipline is starting to come into play but I’ve thought long and hard about the things that I need to “time her out” for. I don’t have a comprehensive list or anything but, at least at this point, I feel like if it’s just inconveniencing me (i.e. doing things slower than I’d like) or not doing things exactly when/how I ask her to do it the first time, then I need to reserve the time out and let her be herself. Provide consequences for not listening to me and doing what I ask like “You took too long so now there isn’t time to do thus-and-so” or “Since you didn’t listen to Mommy, you can’t do this-or-that”. I need to plan that things will take longer than I expect and make sure that she understands the things that are absolute no-no’s. As I’m typing that I wonder if I will be spoiling her. And then I wonder what the value is of having a kid that will “snap to” when I ask her to do something. I don’t want her to be Robot Kid but I also do NOT want to have a Spoiled Girl and I can’t just have her ignoring Mommy, can I? There’s gotta be something in between and I am on a quest to find it. Sometimes I feel like I need a concrete plan for parenting or Tater Tot will feel the effects of how schizophrenic I sometimes feel about parenting! But I guess that parenting can be schizophrenic so maybe I should just learn how to go with the flow a little bit more, huh? Hasn’t ever been my strong suit as you can probably tell if you have read my over-analyzing, neurotic posts in the past. So, for the time being, am I taking many deep cleansing breaths, reciting my mantra “She is two. She is two. She is two.” under my breath and remembering that despite her two-ness right now, she is the best, most amazing little girl on the planet and I am lucky to be her Mommy!

I have not been posting very much lately (as I inadvertently taught Tater Tot to say “Duh, Mommy”). Life just has been getting in the way. The Tater Tot has sprouted like a weed and looks like a 3 year old even though she is only 26 months old. Every week when we go to Mommy and Me, someone asks me “Did she get taller this week?” She talks like a three year old, too. She still isn’t potty training and I am soooo ready for her to. She just has no interest in sitting on the potty seat. Or the toilet. But I have noticed that there will be hours at a time where she’s completely dry so we’re getting there in terms of readiness. She is drinking from a regular cup now and using a spoon and a fork by herself. Not neatly, mind you. But she’s two so I really can’t expect the stain removal marathon to end yet, can I?

I just can’t believe it when I look at her. She’s my little girl. And I have to say that I really love being The Mommy of a Toddler Girl. Although the asserting of independence at interesting, frustrating and inconvenient times can grate on me, I know that it’s normal. I’m actually enjoying learning how to deal with it in a way that is constructive. A way that allows her to be herself but sets appropriate boundaries. And I’m learning to recognize when I need to just get over myself and let her do whatever she is doing that is grating on my nerves at that particular time. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when I know that I need to get her to stop doing whatever it is she is doing to make me crazy so that I don’t lose it but most of the time I just need to take a deep breath and realize it’s not that vital.

She and The Daddy are enjoying spending time together more now that she’s a little toddler girl. This is a wonderful thing for The Mommy. It allows me to try to take better care of myself, the house, and everyone else. Gives me a little break. We’ve got a nice little routine going and I like it. Of course, now that I’ve recognized this fact, it’s time for the routine to change and my world to be plunged into chaos again. It seems to always work like that. I get comfortable and then everything changes! Oh well, that’s one thing Mommyhood has taught me: you’ve got to adapt. Survival of the fittest, Baby!

The Daddy finally made the call on The Dog and we had her put to sleep yesterday. I’m sad. He’s sad. He did a phenomenal job explaining things in a way that a two year old could understand and had her say good bye to The Dog. He told her that The Dog was going to see her Mommy and Daddy. Now, I’m sure she doesn’t understand that she’s never coming back and I halfway think that she won’t even notice that she’s gone for a while. You see, The Dog was old and sick and really didn’t want to be bothered with little sticky hands that didn’t always know how to be gentle. They kind of kept a wide berth of one another unless supervised. But, when supervised, Tater Tot enjoyed petting The Dog and The Dog came to trust that Tater Tot wasn’t going to hurt her. She would come up while we were sitting on the floor, stick her nose under my arm, and nudge it up so she could put her little face under it. That was her saying “Pet me, Momma”. I will miss that. And the way she got so excited when we came home. It usually didn’t matter if we’d only been gone 10 minutes, she was still excited that Her People were home again. She was an exceptional dog and we will miss her.

Not so much anymore. Tater Tot showed a brief interest in the potty seat again last week but not any more. I’m not concerned yet since she is just a bit over 2 but it sure would be nice to be done with diapers. I’m looking forward to selling off my cloth diaper stash and moving on. Not wanting to cause potty power struggles, however, I think I’ve got a little ways to go yet. I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing which is offering the potty seat at regular intervals and letting her choose whether or not she wants to. I should probably start reading those articles on potty training that I haven’t gotten around to yet…